I’ve suffered from Major Depression Disorder for years; I live with the Darkness of Depression.  I’ve come into remission and relapse over and over and through that I understand what it is to feel lost, useless and alone, completely without any value and the absolute knowledge that I’d never have real hope again.  But light crept in and I realized that there were so many people around like me and with me in the dark.  And if you can see in the dark, you can’t leave those you see behind.   When my Depression started, I felt a level of social embarrassment and I didn’t want a diagnosis on my medical record (another pre-existing condition) so I didn’t tell my doctor. I also knew I was really smart and knew myself really well, so I’d be able to get myself out of it. But I knew nothing Jon Snow.

Some simple facts: Mental Illness is an actual medical disorder.  Many don’t understand this, but telling someone to “pull yourself out of it” is as effective as saying that to someone in a diabetic crisis.  The chemistry in the brain gets upset and for Depression (which is 1 disorder, sometimes combined with Bi-Polar or Anxiety disorder or both), my layman’s analogy is that the happy thought receptors turn off, while the bad thought receptors crank up into overdrive.  The Information About Depression page is full of resources and more detailed information. 

  I was driven to put up this site because I’ve struggled so much and found strength and love with those who have struggled as well. No one understands us as well as we understand each other.  I gravitate to articles about and by those with depression – some frustrate me, some inspire me and give me strength. If this site can be a comfort to a single person, the way other’s words have been for me, if people come together to find strength in, and support each other, it will begin to feel like I am fulfilling a purpose I’ve come to realize. And if no one comes here but me, well, then I am recording my story.  My story sounds just like so many I’ve read, and it feels like only a brief summary of the Cliff notes version of the actual novel, and I don’t think I’m alone on that.  I’m guessing it will sound so familiar, many (well – that might be overestimating my site traffic) will recognize it as their own.  But these are my words for my story that came together in these pages.  I’m glad you’re here and I welcome you.  If you live with the Darkness too, you’re not alone. If you don’t but you’re just visiting, be aware that you know many of us but just don’t realize it. Maybe this will give you some insight on those around you.

The World Health Organization (WHO) estimates 300 million people suffer from Depression worldwide. 15 % of US adults will suffer major Depressive disorder in their lifetime.  7 % / 18 million US adults suffered from a major Depressive episode last year, 11 million of those US adults experienced an episode that resulted in severe impairment.  Close to 800,000 people die of Depression related suicide every year.  Nearly 50% of people diagnosed with Depression are also diagnosed with an anxiety disorder.  And though there are known, effective treatments for Depression, less than half of those affected worldwide (less than 10% in many countries) receive treatment.  I’m not addressing Depression in children and young adults yet, I will point you to links that say 9% of the US population aged 12-17 had major Depressive episodes with severe impairments in the last year.  Suicide is the second leading cause of death in 15-29 year olds.  You don’t have to explore this site, but let the significance of this silent, stigmatized epidemic sink in, and then maybe come back and do some research or ask The Google.  But I think it’s time for society at large to look up and look around because if you made it this far, you know us and you love us and I hope we can help you understand who we are and what we fight.